There are days when I feel extremely restless, like I am waiting for something to happen (or fearing that something will happen imminently) and yet I don't really know what. I am on edge, on tenterhooks, waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop.
I am not alone.
I know others who get the same feelings, but I think the condition may be a particularly female one. Come to think of it, I don't know if I can recall a single man professing to be "at sixes and sevens" or discombobulated, or whatever word we use to paint the picture of our agitated, unfocused state.
The techno-oppression of this era makes me think that this restlessness is a new thing, and yet I recall reading a number of texts (both fiction and non-fiction) that make reference to women in bygone eras who had a nervous constitution, who were 'unsettled' and prone to hysteria.
And, as I stop to think about it, perhaps there have always been certain pressures on women that might cause us to feel that we were forgetting something - a chore, a duty, a social grace, perhaps. And, there have been many reasons why a woman might feel like they are on edge, just about to do something but not sure what that something is. Did my fore-mothers feel anxious that they had no voice, no power? Did they realize that that was making them restless? Did the lack of information, or long delays in learning of things happening to distant family, friends, and other places in the world, make them more or less restless?
Certainly in this technologically loaded world, we are more connected and know about things and others so quickly that even news organizations are not our first source. Does the constant bombardment of emails, text messages, appointment reminders, and so on merely create a cacophony of information that only enhances our agitation and feelings that we are not in control? Does getting through my emails make me feel satisfied or merely so unfocused that I no longer have the capacity to concentrate on a single task for more than 10 minutes, eroding my sense of purpose and achievement?
Buzz goes the phone (incoming text).
Chime goes the calendar reminder.
Bing goes my email.
Google this, google that, accomplish nothing.
In the end, I think my restless days are caused by knowing too little about too much and accomplishing way too much of the unimportant and not enough of the important.
Control, I think, is at the root of the restlessness, and that has not changed over the generations. Now if I can only figure out a really quick way to gain control of things... I bet there's an App for that... let me just Google it.
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