On talking too much

I am a talker.  I would never presume to categorize myself otherwise.  It makes it hard, however, to tell someone else to "shut the eff up".

I belong to a lovely book club of wonderful women.  We meet once a month for a dinner based on the book we've read.  We've had fabulous meals and memorable discussion, some sparked because of the book and some just organically stemming from someone's news or life event.

There is one woman there, however, who cannot censor herself.  Incessant and inane are too words that come to mind.  How do you tell someone that you don't care to know every thought in her head?  Even her emails overshare.  The worst part is that she wouldn't hurt a fly and would be mortified if she knew that people are relieved if she can't make it.  Even her good friends in the group are becoming annoyed.

Last night, I did not even realize that I shut her down once or twice and turned the conversation back to one where others could participate and not be mere spectators in the monologue of the mundane.  I also did not notice that a few others had cut her off and shut her down and that people were becoming irritated.  In the end, though, everyone is too nice to tell her that she is a spotlight hog... a conversation boor.

I might say something if I were not a gabby person myself.  In fact, I often worry that I say too much and find myself consciously 'zipping it' to let others have a turn.  Perhaps THAT is the difference:  I am aware of talking too much and motor mouth is not.

Is there a book we could add to the list that would create more self awareness?  Or would that be too subtle for her?  Likely.  At any rate, group dynamics are fascinating and watching the quiet ones gradually step up and claim air time, and shut down the verbal diarrhea will be interesting.  For now, I am grateful that she hasn't managed to get the group to change the night of our meetings to suit her (and only her) or to get the group to invite her husband to join (it's a women's group) despite the fact that many of us prefer him to her.

I'll let the universe sort this one out!