Dealing with Uncomfortable Situations

I am no stranger to having to face my fears, to deliver unpleasant news, to inform employees of things they don't want to hear, to listen to heartbreak, to watching someone die... And yet, it never gets easier.


I have:
- known months in advance that my father was going to leave my mother, and kept silent 
- sat beside a friend whose baby has just died while 7 months pregnant myself, and looked at the pictures, and held my tears
- phoned colleagues one after the other to inform them that a beloved boss had been tragically killed, and then led them through the grief amidst pressing work deadlines
- confronted unethical behaviour at work
- retracted funding from organizations with failed audits (knowing that doing so would likely cause the organization to fold)
... and the list goes on.


I have had another uncomfortable situation at work this past 2 weeks, and tomorrow my own boss will be back and he will find himself in deep doo doo.  I expect he will try and "explain things" to me - as if that matters.  Friends are reminding me that I should not be the one feeling uncomfortable, because I am only the one who was left with a mess to clean up.  And yet, I know it will be awkward and unpleasant.


Do the ones who put us in these situations feel anything?  Are they sorry?  Do they know I laid in bed at 4 am worrying about how to phrase things, or what their reaction would be, or if I was making a mistake.  It's unlikely. 


I am reminded of some wisdom (from whom I remember not) that says that it is not the stuff that happens in our life that defines us, but rather our reaction to it.  This is very true, but sometimes it takes courage.  Scratch that.  Always, it takes courage.  It takes courage to stand by others who are in pain, and in your silence and in your embrace, hold their pain for them for even just a moment.  It takes courage to have integrity and bear witness to what is right and not turn a blind eye to wrong.  


"Courage is grace under pressure" said Ernest Hemmingway.  Maya Angelou takes it further.  She says: “Courage: the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.” 


I think we must allow ourselves to be uncomfortable, so that we don't take the easy path, so that we can live with integrity, so that we develop our skills in compassion that allow us to comfort those in distress.  


So tomorrow I will try and make peace with my uncomfortableness.  And it's not like there's another option anyway!